Intrigued

Groucho Marx originated the look, and Eric Glover is trying to perfect it. The spectacles have long complimented a fine soup strainer, enabling those who sport the look to essentially hide their true identity behind a mask of facial hair and a set of wiry frames. His colleagues call him "The Glove", and would like nothing more than to hear some of the witty banter he is so famous for around the work site. Not today unfortunately folks - as is outlined in this picture, The Glove is mesmerized by the Key Note Speaker at this tradesmen's conference in Northern Alabama - and his focus won't be shifted come hell or high water.

Gary From Gainesville

Always an easy spot to find a good push broom, the all-you-can-eat buffet is generally filled with portly gentlemen who pride themselves on their boilermakers and ability to name the top 10 NASCAR drivers by name, number and sponsor. Gary here shows us that classy Floridian retirees can also join the ranks of The Travelling Secretary, Walrus II, and Soup Strainer: Defined. Be careful though Gary, as the largest males of a species have been known to attack the smaller, more feeble of the group in order to survive.

Flying Feather Duster

Church, Croquet and a piping hot chai tea latte round off a nice little Sunday for Eric Andrews. After arriving home to find his teen aged son playing tummy sticks with the neighbour boy from down the street on Friday evening, Eric, who is a single father of three, decided that he would book himself a trip down to Arizona for a relaxing getaway filled with golfing, poolside daiquiris, and Yellow Pages escorts that will satisfy his desires without asking questions. Those escorts always love a good moustache ride!

Showroom Pushbroom

"Listen Jim; we're talking about the Riobel Emco II. This isn't your Moms' old faucet. It's got a half inch male inlet NPT, it's made of solid brass, and comes with a ceramic cartridge. We're not talking about the Cadillac of faucets - we're talking about the Rolls Royce of faucets. With a maximum flow of 2.2 gallons per minute, how can we possibly go wrong? I've been in this business for thirty six years and I have never seen something so beautiful. When corporate gets their mitts on this beauty they'll be spraying loads like my grandson at prom."

Soup Strainer: Defined

Urban Dictionary defines "soup strainer" as A long moustache that hangs over the upper lip, tending to catch stray food particles as they travel into the mouth. Above are two shots that we here at USSS have been holding in our back pocket for many weeks. One of our in-house hunters has captured these incredibly risky and stunning shots of a soup strainer of monumental proportions not only catching food particles, but actually STRAINING SOUP! You will notice this portly gentleman, who happens to be enjoying an all-you-can-eat buffet, first acquiring his soup and then shoving it down his gullet. Extra points for his shiny, billiard ball head and tinted eyeglasses worn indoors.

Manuel The Manager's Mexican Moustache

Being a Senior Busboy Manager at the San Antonio Best Western has been a challenge for Manuel, considering his lack of Citizenship, lengthy criminal record, and complete deficiency of social skills. His nineteen year climb to the top has had many hurdles, but his commitment to the trade is unparalleled. On this warm summer evening, Manuel is training a newcomer, his cousin Antonio, who recently "relocated" from across the border in San Buenaventura, Mexico. After this intense twenty minute training session; which includes tasks such as restocking bread baskets, clearing dishes, and resetting tables; Manuel is planning on teaching Antonio the finer points of moustache trimming. Please note the attempted pencil moustache that was quite obviously rushed - most likely because Manuel was late for his shift.