Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Walrus II

Captivating, enchanting, fascinating. Duster Hunting can be a thrilling sport at the best of times, but a terrifying nightmare at the worst. There are few places filled with more handlebars and soup strainers than a Construction Industry tradeshow. This breeding ground for push brooms of all kinds also poses an extreme threat to the Hunter, as the audacious sportsman is confined to a small area that is filled with literally hundreds of these beasts. Our Huntsman managed to capture a shy, timid walrus en-route to nourish himself with his natural disposition: The all-you-can-eat buffet.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dego Moustache, Windblown Hair

We all remember Giuseppe (Dego Moustache, Greasy Hair); allow me to introduce one of his seven siblings - his brother Guido. Although Guido did not follow the same shady pathway to success, he definitely shares his brothers' love for facial hair. Placing a bet with his bookie, smoking a cigarette, and balancing an ashtray on his genitals, Guido is multitasking like a 1960's secretary who is forced to type 95 words per minute, answer telephone calls and masturbate her boss to the point of ejaculation. It's a shame Wal-Mart doesn't sell Ermenegildo Zegna clothing Guido, but keep livin' the dream!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sri Stache

Meet Tharindu Handunpurage. Tharindu is currently attending Thompson Career College in Mississauga, taking an eight month Business Administration Certificate program. He works evenings and weekends as a dishwasher at an Irish Pub in his hometown of Brampton, Ontario and usually goes straight home to his parents basement after a long night at work – but God damn it, it’s Saturday! Tharindu is enjoying a well-deserved evening out at Fallsview Casino in Niagara Falls, squandering his entire weeks’ pay at the $25 Black Jack table in less than twenty minutes. Not being one to dwell on past misfortune; after his loss Tharindu hops in his 1997 Honda Accord and is still home before his overbearing father can figure out he is out past curfew.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Golf After Work?


There is nothing quite like capturing middle-aged business men discussing their personal lives while taking a quick coffee break at the office. Don Potts screams Middle Manager, and he is definitely a big deal in his softball league...kudos to Penske4:19 for bringing in the tough shots time and time again.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Here Comes The Weekend!

"Fuckin' right! I'll call the ol' lady and let 'er know I ain't comin' home tonight...we'll get right shittered down by the lake. I gotta make a few more calls today before I can call 'er a day, shitter is clogged at the pub so hopefully I can get me a coupla beer outta the deal. The plumbing business ain't all glitz n glamour but it sure as shit pays the bills, know whata mean? Can you pick up a coupla pack a smokes for me too? I'm runnin' low, and you said you get that deal with the Indians. Cheers."

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Fall From Grace

A high-flying businessman by his late twenties, Jim was living the high life; fast money, fast cars, and fast women. Who knew that it would be only a few short decades later that his alcohol abuse would end three marriages, estrange him from his children, and leave him penniless after declaring personal bankruptcy? Thankfully, Jim’s family has always been there to help through turbulent times – and with their assistance he has been clean and sober for over six years. Jim’s secret? The serenity of a soft white duster atop his upper lip.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Carnival Worker

Is there anything more precious than Sterling Silver? Not for this Carnie; who spends his weekends hawking $3.00 rings and $5.00 necklaces to pre-teens and adolescents across the country. The snow-tipped hairs on Bernie's push broom unfortunately show his years of back-breaking manual labour, and exaggerate the fact that he's actually only 26 years old. Wonderful coordination though, adding pedo-tint glasses to finish the look. Thanks, Penske 4:19, for an incredible capture.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dego Moustache, Greasy Hair

It has always bewildered me as to what type of employment an uneducated, middle-aged European immigrant has which has afforded him the ability to wear only the finest fabrics, and maintain a French Tickler that is so well-manicured it would make Jackie Onassis look like a filthy hobo. Throw in the fact that this gentleman spent three hours of his Thursday afternoon on the patio of a higher-end restaurant pounding cocktails and having lunch with friends; now I'm just downright frustrated.

Kudos Giuseppe, here's to good living. Let's keep those whiskers trimmed!